Seven Short Movie Summaries

What the Crap?

Samsara- I saw the trailer for Samsara and it looked like a visual feast so I ordered it on Netflix. I was not prepared for how artsy it was. It was kind of slow at first but still had some cool visuals. About 20 minutes into it, my wife came in the room during a weird scene where a guy starts packing mud on his face. He then begins to claw and cut away at it while there is horror music in the background. This went on way too long and I felt really awkward trying to explain what I was watching. I ended up turning it off since my wife was giving me a look like I was watching some kind of Satanic ritual and for all I know I could have been. Anyway I was looking forward to a visual feast but it was short lived. I give it 6.9 stars.

Oz The Great and Powerful- I'm not a big fan of James Franco or really anyone else in the cast so I wasn't expecting much from this movie. How is that for a negative attitude? At least I'm honest. This movie is geared to a younger audience and my kids really enjoyed it. It is a prequel to the Wizard of Oz and I'll admit there were a few funny moments but I couldn't get over Zach Braff from Scrubs voicing a CG monkey. I really don't have much else to say about this. I give it 6.4 stars.


Jack the Giant Slayer- This movie was a little better than I expected. It is a story about Jack and the bean stock and tells how giants attacked the kingdom by climbing down the bean stalk. Stanley Tucci was the bad guy as usual. It was alright but I can't really even member how it ended. I'm pretty sure they lived happily ever after. I give it 6.6 stars.

The Lone Ranger- This movie had a ton of potential and I wanted to like it more than I did. There are many over the top stunts and cool effects but it still doesn't make up for it's shortcomings. It's kind of like Pirates of the Caribbean in the Desert. I gave it 6.9 stars.


Red 2- This movie was alright but I was wondering if there was really a need for a sequel. The cast was impressive and I like all of the actors but it was a little uneventful and still think I liked the first one more. It came off kind of empty. I give it 7.0 generous stars.

Pacific Rim- This movie was a mix between Transformers, Godzilla, and Rockem Sockem Robots. It is about aliens who attack earth by coming through a portal at the bottom of the ocean. In an attempt to combat these destructive monsters, the government builds giant robots that are operated by two pilots. It's even cooler than watching people ride tandem bikes. There was some cool stuff in this movie and I was impressed with how big the monsters and robots were. I give it 7.2 stars.

Gravity- Finally a movie the rocked! I was mesmerized by the special effects in this movie. It is just a two person show but is not boring like My Dinner With Andre. Gravity is a cool sci fi movie with plenty of suspense. There are several recurring themes of rebirth and renewal that occur as a result of the adversity Bullock goes through during the film. I really liked it. I give it 8.2 stars.

Summary of 4 Big Summer Movies

I haven't written a review for a while and have gotten a little back logged so I decided to briefly rate some of the bigger summer movie titles.

The Wolverine- I enjoyed this more than several of the previous X-Men movies. It was nice to have a fresh location in Japan with a different culture and new characters. The atomic bomb flashback scene was pretty cool. Once again Hugh Jackman showed up out of shape for the role-NOT. I give it 7.4 stars.

Man of Steel- It was nice to see a fresh re-boot. Henry Cavill was really good in the role of Superman and also got into great shape for the role. I think Hollywood is setting too high of a bar for what a man's physique should look like. Maybe I need to watch more Woody Allen movies. Any way, I liked this move and I give it 7.7 stars.

World War Z- Finally a zombie movie where they move fast instead of slowly limping around. I have never really gotten into the zombie genre, but I thought this was well done and I really liked it. If you like seeing scenes of civilization being destroyed then you will probably like it. I gave it 7.9 stars.

Star Trek Into Darkness- I have enjoyed what J.J. Abrams has done with the last two Star Trek movies. Benedict Cumberbatch was a good villain. I thought this was one of the better movies of the summer and give it 8.0 stars.

All of these were pretty good and entertaining. Luckily I have not seen After Earth or The Lone Ranger, but if I had, I'll bet you would see some lower ratings.

Iron Man 3

As my life gets more hectic, my movie reviews are starting to resemble Tweets. Maybe some day I will see a movie that I like enough to do a real review for. In the mean time, I'd like to give my take on Iron Man 3. I know it's dumb to pick apart a comic book movie as if it were a historical drama but there were some inconsistencies I had a hard time ignoring.

The Good

Iron Man is not that great of a guy. Tony Stark is arrogant and rude and I'd probably hate him if he were a real life person but it's nice to see a hero who is not perfect and has to deal with his problems.

Ben Kingsly was great and I was not expecting the twist at the end involving his character.

The airplane scene where Iron Man had to rescue the falling crew was pretty cool.

Pepper Potts takes more action than we have seen in the past.

This movie had a great cast so what was bothered me? Here are a list of things.

The Bad

1) A villain that not only cured his acne and posture with genetic engineering, but he is able to turn into the heat miser and breathe fire.

2) There were too many super human soldiers and they would heat up to 3,000 degrees yet it didn't burn their clothes? (I have the same problem with Hulk's clothes returning to normal after he morphs back)

3) The cute little sidekick boy. No thanks.

4) If the Iron Man suit can withstand explosions and aliens, how come a kid can effortlessly break the fingers off like a piece of peanut brittle?

5) Too many Iron Man machines. One or two are cool but a fleet of them is over doing it.

I'm not one of those comic book fans who freaks out when liberties are taken with the Marvel characters so I didn't care about a lot of stuff that may have bothered others. I still give Iron Man 7.2 stars and I felt it was entertaining.

The Impossible

I saw The Impossible well over a month ago but have been too busy to write a review until now. Let me just say it was a good movie and I am now even more terrified of tsunamis and water than I thought I was before. The cast, acting, and special effects were all great and the fact that the movie is a true story makes it even more impressive.

I still can't stress how much it would suck to die in a tsunami. I give The Impossible 7.8 stars.

Life of Pi

I'm going to keep this short. There are several points I'd like to make about Life of Pi.

1) It is a good movie.
2) I can add it to my list of films that make me scared of the ocean.
3) CG technology has come a long way since Jumanji. I was impressed!
4) If I ever get a pet I might name it Richard Parker.
5) The ending had an interesting twist.
6) I can't tell you if it was better than the book because I never read the books.
7) Apparently Gerard Depardieu is still around.
8) I give it 7.9 stars.