Taken 2

I really enjoyed the First Taken movie so I was glad to hear a sequel was coming out. I recently saw Taken 2 and overall I enjoyed it but I had a few serious concerns with this movie.

I never realized how pronounced some of the actors facial features were. Liam has a distinctive nose and Famke Janssen has some interesting eyebrows that kept distracting me. It's good to know that distinctive facial features are not a hindrance in Hollywood. I say that because my forehead is the same size as a regulation checker board.

Anyway, back to the movie... I enjoyed the performances of all of the actors, but I felt like his buddy friends were insignificant and were almost comic relief. They reminded me of the three Disney cartoon ducks during the scene when he calls them at the golf course.

I liked this movie but I had a little problem with him instructing his daughter to throw grenades off the roof tops so he could hear how far away she was from them. I found it convenient that he just happened to have them in his luggage- I know he is a security specialists, but most body guard's weapons of choice are not grenades.

The scene that really bothered me was when they stole a taxi with a shiny yellow paint job and had a chase through busy streets and experienced 5 or 6 serious crashes, yet there was not a single scratch on it! COME ON!!!

This movie obviously cost millions of dollars to make so why would they choose to ignore the fact that cars get damaged when they collide into other objects? I would rather see boom microphones hanging down in the picture or have visible crew members in a scene than have such blatant disregard for physics.

Despite my complaining, I still liked this movie. Liam Neeson may have a particular set of skills, but apparently so do I, picking the details of a movie apart. I give Taken 2  6.9 stars.

Unknown

Unknown stars Liam Neeson and it's about a scientist who travels to Berlin with his wife to attend a research conference. Upon his arrival he is involved in an auto accident and sustains a head injury. He wakes up from a coma 4 days later and when he finally tracks his wife down, she claims not to know who he is and there is another man who has taken his identity who claims to be him. He trys to figure out why this is happening to him and struggles with the idea that he just might be going crazy.

Diane Kruger plays a taxi cab driver who helps him as he reconstructs the past events in order to figure out what is happening to him. My least favorite part of the movie was January Jones who plays his wife. Besides having a ridiculous name, her performance was flat and emotionless. I felt like she was a robot from West World that wondered off the set and into this movie.

There were several details that I had a hard time believing, but some major twists and surprises compensated for that. SPOILER ALERT: I don't want to give the ending away, but imagine The Bourne Identity with an older lead and some major revelations at the end of the movie ala The Sixth Sense. (No, he's not a ghost.)

Some people were critical of this movie because they said it had unrealistic details. If it were claiming to be a documentary I'd be more worried about such details, but since it's a mystery/thriller, I give it 7.3 stars for being an entertaining movie.

PS- I've heard some people compare this movie to Taken. I can see why since they both star Neeson, take place in Europe, have one name titles, and have nearly identical posters, but Unknown is more of a mystery thriller and does not have as much action and violence as Taken.

7 Big Movies Reviewed in Haiku Form

I am way behind on movie reviews so in an effort to catch up quickly I have decided to write a Haiku for each of the following 7 blockbuster movies. These brief reviews will even make Twitter look long winded.

Intersteller
Cool space idea
Long but I thought it was great.
It will test your brain

8.4 Stars

Mockingjay Part 1
Hiding underground
Fighting evil President
To be continued

7.0 Stars

Hobbit-The Battle of the 5 Arrmies
Smaug made such a mess
Dwarf King has an attitude
Hobbit saves the day

7.7 Stars

Jupiter Ascending
Tatum crazy ears
Protects the heir of the Earth
Could have been much better

6.2 Stars

Taken 3
Someone killed his wife
He uses his set of skills
Milk the series dry

6.4 Stars


Furious Seven
Gang being hunted
So fake yet entertaining
Nice ending for Paul

7.1 Stars

Some of these movies were definitely better than others. Interstellar was the most thought provoking. Mockingjay was a little less entertaining than the prior installments. The Hobit was a solid sequel especially if you like Fantasy films. I was expecting more from the Wachowski brothers with Jupiter Ascending. Taken has started to lose it's appeal and is nowhere near as good as the first one. I was shocked that Furious 7 got such high ratings. It is entertaining and over the top so turn off your reality sensor when the movie starts, but I think much of the praise was due to it being Walker's last film.

Taken

In the movie Taken, Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills who is a retired special ops agent who's daughter is kidnapped by a human trafficking/prostitution ring while she is visiting Paris. He is forced to put his skills into action as he attempts to locate and rescue her before a 96 hour window closes. Since much of this movie takes place in France it has the same European feel as the Bourne series. I also could have sworn it had the exact same sound track during the many action scenes.

If you like seeing middle aged men beat the crap out of bad guys then this movie is for you. It is very intense and violent and it has been quite a while since I found myself so riveted to a movie. This was written by Luc Beeson but has a much more realistic feel to it than his Transporter movies. There is the obligatory inability of bad guys to shoot the hero at close range with machine guns, but I have given up on this criticism since almost every action movie I have ever seen if guilty of it.

Maggie Grace was very convincing as the clueless 17 year old daughter, but Liam Neeson steals the show. During some moments he is cool headed and calm as Quigon Jin, but at other times he unleashes his fury in a precise and controlled fashion. The main thing I learned from watching this movie is that you don't mess with Liam Neeson's daughter. I could relate to his vengeful anger. He gives John McClane, Jason Bourne, and Jack Bauer, a run for their money This was one of the better movies I have seen in a while. I give it 8.2 out of 10 stars.

Movie's Greatest Surprise Endings

After hearing about the recent finale of Lost, it got me thinking about movie endings. I love movies where something happens in the final scene that is a shocking revelation and it causes you to re-think the entire movie. I have listed some movies below that are know for having some major twists and surprises at the end of the movie. CAUTION-major spoilers below! Read at your own risk.

Psycho-Norman has split personalities and was acting as his mother. The movie is named after him.

The Sixth Sense - Bruce Willis died in the first scene but didn't realize he was a ghost until the end.

The Others - Nicole Kidman is actually a ghost (where else have we seen that?)

The Usual Suspects - Kevin Spacey's inept character was actually the mastermind Keyser Soza

The Village -It takes place in modern times but they live in a protected sanctuary.

The Prestige - Christian Bale had an identical twin to help him pull off the tricks.

Planet of the Apes - They landed back on earth in the future and it had been taken over by apes.

The Empire Strikes Back - Darth Vader is Luke's Father (and even worse, Luke kissed his sister)

The Game -It was just an elaborate staged surprise for his birthday.

The Crying Game - The he is actually a she (never seen it).

Citizen Kane - His dying word "Rosebud" was the name of the sled he had as a young boy.

Fight Club - Edward Norton's character and Tyler Durden are actually the same person .

Soylent Green - This popular government subsidized food staple is made out of people!

So there you go. In just a few minutes I have spoiled over 60 years of Hollywood's greatest surprise endings. I warned you not to read if you haven't seen them.

Quantum of Solace Review

Unlike prior Bond films, this movie is a sequel so if you haven't seen Casino Royale yet you may want to watch it first. If you are just looking to be entertained don't worry. It's not like this is a complicated Shakespearean plot that will go over your head. Warning: This review contains spoilers.

007 has become a darker character over the last two movies. Bond could simply be described as a brutal assassin. He now prefers his fists over gadgets. There is definitely a more serious and realistic feel to this movie. You don't see Bond driving a hovercraft through Venice square or sledding on a cello but there is still plenty of fake stuff like the inability of bad guys with machine guns to shoot him at close range. This film is grittier and more violent than prior Bond movies. The previous movies also featured violence and death but they were usually accompanied by the obligatory witty quips and cocky attitude so it wasn't taken as seriously. In Quantum of Solace the corny puns and innuendo are kept to a minimum, however I did find myself laughing at some of the one liners. Since Bond is so hardened and angry in this movie I was surprised and even touched during a seen when he holds a dying friend and comforts him as he passes away, but my hopes were soon dashed when he callously tossed his body into a giant dumpster as soon as he died.

The action and stunts are great and nearly non stop so there isn't a dull moment; however the cinematography is choppier and harder to follow as is the trend these days in many action movies. Most of the fight scenes reminded me of The Bourne Identity. This movie is very entertaining with action sequences and stunts on the ground, air, and sea. The globe trotting covers England, Italy, Austria, and Bolivia. I found it interesting that Bond did not have the usual romp with the lead actress who was played by Olga Kurlyanko. In the past 007 has been much more prolific and promiscuous with the ladies, but here he seemed very focused on revenge. The other Bond girl , Agent Fields had a trivial part and didn't really fit in or contribute much to the movie. At least they used her to pay homage to a scene from Goldfinger.

Judi Dench grows on me more with each movie. She is more complex and effective than any of the men who have previously played the role of M. I think her character is one of the more intriguing and entertaining ones. I miss Q but since Desmond Llewelyn died it has been hard to replace him. There was really no need for a Q in this movie since there was no gadgetry with the exception of the cool computer screens at the MI6 briefing room. The most recent villain didn't have metal teeth, scars, a third nipple, a pet cat, or bleeding eyes, like prior eccentric villains we've seen. He didn't even have an underground lair or secret facility with hundreds of henchmen working for him either. He was just an average guy which made him appear less threatening and even vulnerable, but he seemed more realistic than prior villains. The scariest thing about the villain was his right hand man's horrible haircut.

If you are a long time fan of the Series and enjoyed Connery and Moore for their suave and smooth performances you may not enjoy this movie as much. I have noticed that many of the seasoned 007 fans are not happy that Bond is being re-defined. Some feel he his identify has been hi-jacked and they've been critical of the direction of the last two movies. I can see their point and as a long time Bond fan I can empathize with them, but I think Daniel Craig does a great job and has revived the series for a younger generation. This movie met most of my expectations despite it's departure from many of the traditional Bondisms we've grown accustomed to over the years. I give it 7.1 out of 10.

4th Year Anniversary Annual Summary

I just realized that I passed the anniversary of this blog last month and didn't even realize it. In keeping with tradition, I will summarize the movies I have seen over the last year as part of The Movie Guy's 4th year anniversary.

The Dark Knight  Rises 9.0
The Avengers 8.4
The Artist 8.2
Skyfall 8.0
Contagion 7.9
Mission Impossible 7.9
Moneyball 7.8
The Amazing Spider Man 7.7
Chronicle 7.7
The Hunger Games 7.7
Pulling John 7.6
Sherlock Holmes 2 7.5
Men in Black 3  7.2
The Bourne Legacy 7.2
Snow White and The Huntsman 7.1
In Time 7.1
Premium Rush 7.0
Tower Heist 7.0
Taken 2 6.9
Man on A Ledge 6.8
Real Steel 6.6
Lockout 6.5
John Carter 6.4
Unicorn City 6.3
Total Recall 6.2
The Double 6.2
Battleship 6.1
Atlas Shrugged 6.0
Transformers Dark of the Moon 6.0
The Three Stooges 5.8
Columbiana 5.6

Unstoppable

I've previously expressed how I feel about movies that are based on true events, so I had some concerns about seeing Unstoppable. This movie is about an out of control train carrying hazardous materials. The train company and law enforcement try to figure out how to stop the unmanned train before it reaches heavily populated areas.

I liked Unstoppable since it has a more realistic feel to it than most action movies. I also thought the movie did a good job with most of the technical details. There were certainly some embellishments and liberties taken with the story, but that is expected with Hollywood.

The best part of the movie would have to be Denzel Washington. He plays a veteran engineer who tries to stop the runaway train. Chris Pine was good in his role as an inexperienced conductor. I liked the rest of  the cast, especially Ethan Suplee as an incompetent train yard employee.

Unstoppable is directed by Tony Scott who is known for exciting action movies like Enemy of the State, Man on Fire, Top Gun, Crimson Tide, Spy Game, and Deja Vu. This is the fifth movie he has directed starring Denzel Washington.

I give it 7.3 stars and thought it was pretty solid. It had action, drama, and suspense.  The biggest problem I had with the movie is that is seamed like it ended quickly. I would have like to have seen more. Maybe they can make a sequel where the train breaks out of the train yard and goes on another rampage and they have to call the heroes back to stop it.

Unicorn City

It finally happened! There have been many times that I've gone to an early showing of a movie and had only a handful of other viewers in the theater with me, but I finally experienced what it is like to be the ONLY person in a movie theater. I really shouldn't have been surprised since I took a gamble on a movie that was a local independent film.

I decided to see Unicorn City despite it not having any critic reviews at Rotten Tomatoes. It's a low budget, locally filmed movie directed by Bryan Lefler who was involved in Napolean Dynomite. He got John Gries (Uncle Rico) to play the villain in the movie.

This is a silly movie about gamers and D&D nerds. In an effort to get a job, the main character attempts to recruit his role playing friends and create a Utopian City up in the mountains called Unicorn City. His nemesis crashes the party and tries recruiting everyone over to his side. While this is taken place, one of the girls in his guild who has a crush on him tries to let him know how she feels about him but he does not reciprocate her feelings.

Unicorn City features many quirky characters much like Nacho Libre and Gentlemen Broncos, but I didn't like this movie as much as any of the previously mentioned films. I think Unicorn City will entertain most people who appreciate this genre and who get a kick out of making fun of gamers who can't differentiate between reality and fantasy. There were 4 scenes I really laughed at:

1. When a character finds broken PVC pipes in a hole that are shaped like a sword. He dramatically pulls it out of a muddy sprinkler hole as if he found Excalibur.
2. The gag costume for the Rhubarb the centaur character was really funny.
3. The fantasy dream sequence the main character has was hilarious and may have been worth the price of admission alone.
4. The little brother played by Kevin Weisman who beats up his brothers was also pretty funny. I thought he stole the show.

Aside from these four things, I didn't really find it to be that funny. It is clever,  silly, and quirky, but not as funny as I had hoped. I was, however, impressed how much the main character looked like my nephew. I give Unicorn City 6.3 stars. From my experience in the theater, I'm guessing everyone must be waiting for it to come out on video before they see it.

The Hobbit

I recently saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey and I thought it was one of the better movies I have seen this year. It is a prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but since it has been over 30 years since I read The Hobbit, I am in no position to comment on how well the movie followed the book or complain about what artistic liberties were taken by Peter Jackson.

The story deals with the dwarf kingdom being attacked my a dragon and they are displaced from their homeland for years until a descendant of the king decides it is time to return to their kingdom and reclaim it. 13 dwarfs and a wizard recruit Bilbo Baggins to help them with their quest. You will see many LOTR characters that you are already familiar with in this movie including, Bilbo, Gollum, Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Saruman.

The only thing that really distracted me were such extreme special effects. I understand that computer generated effects are a necessity when you are making a fantasy movie, but some of the scenes, like the dwarfs running away from the Goblins, just seemed too busy and reminded me of a video game. I also thought it was incredibly convenient that despite experiencing multiple life threatening accidents, battles, and falls, none of the good guys ever got injured.

There is plenty of action and special effects during this nearly three hour production. I just wish I didn't have to get strung along for three years in order to finish the series, but I am looking forward to the second installment next year. I give The Hobbit 8.1 stars.

More Movie Reviews

I know these reviews are past due, but my teacher said I could get partial credit if I still turn them in. Here is my brief take on 4 more movies.

Jurassic World: The Fallen Kingdom- You will never guess what happens in this sequel. Dangerous dinosaurs are taken from a controlled environment by greedy capitalists where they eventually get loose and create dangerous problems. I can't blame the studios for making yet another sequel that pretty much follows the same formula of the prior movies since they have been money makers. It may have been fun to watch and had cool special effects, but I can only give it 6.7 stars.

Venom- I really like Tom Hardy and Marvel has been on a role lately with their movies so I thought I would like Venom more than I did. It had a little darker tone to it than I prefer for a super hero movie. Maybe it was trying to be more like Deadpool. I also struggled with the Venom alien being such a violent and dangerous creature while at the same time speaking in slang like a teenager trying to impress his peers. The movie was alright but I just give it a 6.9 score.

Operation Finale- I was not familiar with this movie or the true story it was based on. It is about Israeli intelligence officers who locate a Nazi war criminal many years after WW2 who is living in Argentina with a fake identity.  They attempt to kidnap him and bring him back to Israel to stand judgment. It was very suspenseful and had good performances. It was like Mission Impossible meets Anne Frank. Ben Kingsley might make a pious Gandhi but he also does a pretty mean Nazi.  I give it 7.0 stars.

Bohemian Rhapsody- I grew up listening to Queen and love their music. I have always admired Freddy Mercury's vocals even though I was not a fan of his lifestyle. This movie was well done and very entertaining. All the actors did a great job at portraying the band members and this film addresses their struggles, challenges, and victories. Since so many of their songs are infused into my early life, I found myself getting emotional during many of the numbers. I give Bohemian Rhapsody a solid 8 stars and any fan of Queen will love it.

James Bond Withdrawal

Lately I've felt something has been missing from my life. It wasn't until this week that I realized what it was. It has been two years since Quantum of Solace came out and I am having a fix for a new James Bond movie. Unfortunately, I will have to wait until  November of 2012 for Bond 23 to come out and I'm starting to get the shakes.

MGM studios had some financial problems which slowed down the production of the next film. If money was a problem, they could have contacted me and I would have taken over the role for a fraction of what they will be paying Daniel Craig.

The last I heard, Daniel Craig and Judi Dench were the only two actors who had signed on for the new installment. I've only heard rumors about who the Bond girls will be, but I hate speculating about rumors. It appears Javier Bardem was offered the role as the villain.

I was skeptical when Craig took over the role, but I've really enjoyed his style. I know some of the old school Bond fans prefer the witty, clever style (ala Roger Moore) who relied more on gadgets and intellect and seldom got his hands dirty, but I think many younger people like the physicality and unrefined nature of the latest Bond.

The Bond movies are the longest running and most successful movie series in movie history (yes, even more than the Martin Lawrence's Big Momma movies.) 007 first came to the big screen back in 1962! I've seen them all multiple times, but the first one I saw in the theater was Moonraker back in 1979. I'm used to seeing a new installment every 2-3 years so it's hard for me to wait until November of 2012 for the next one.

When Bond 23 is released, you can expect to see me in line on opening night dressed in my tuxedo. If Star Wars and Harry Potter fans can dress up, then why can't I?

Ghost Writer

I didn't have any idea what Ghost Writer was about so it was nice to see a movie with no pre-conceived notions or expectations since that seldom happens. This film is about a retired prime minister of Britain played by Pierce Brosnan who is in the process of writing his memoirs. A man hired to assist him with the project dies and he is replaced by a new ghost writer played by Ewen McGregor. He is taken to a secured resort on the Eastern Coast and begins the process of working on the memoirs.

As he works on them, an international scandal involving the minister develops which makes the process more difficult. He eventually comes across several clues which cause him to suspect that his predecessor was murdered. As he continues to piece things together and uncover past relationships, he begins to fear for his life. This is not an action movie, but rather a mystery/thriller. It has a Hitchcock-like feel to several scenes, which I miss seeing these days.

The acting was great and the cast was a very interesting mix. I was shocked to see Jim Belushi and Kim Cattrall in this movie, but they were better then I expected they'd be. It wasn't until the end of the movie that I realized it was a Roman Polanski film. I've enjoyed most everything I've seen of his since his movies seem so realistic.

Ghost Writer is not a perfect movie, but it has many good elements. The biggest distraction I had with the movie was that I kept thinking Ewan McGregor looked like Jason Bateman. I really liked this movie because it was an original story and I found it very thought provoking and entertaining. I give it 7.7 stars.

The Shallows

The Shallows is the younger generation's version of Jaws. This movie is about a woman who goes on vacation to a secluded beach in Mexico to surf and to take a break from her problems. The morning she is headed to the beach, her friend flakes on her so she ends up breaking the buddy system rule and surfs alone. She is having a good time until she wipes out, is cut up on some coral, and is then bitten on the leg by a shark. She quickly swims to a nearby rock formation where she is protected from the shark while the tide is low.

She is injured badly but uses her nursing skills to stop the bleeding. She is only 200 yards from shore but can not make the swim to safety since she is continually being watched and stalked by a persistent, huge shark.

This movie was entertaining but kind of fake. Her leg would have been gone had a shark that big taken a bite out of her but I am not one to wish anyone to lose a leg so I'll give it 6.8 stars.

X Men Origins: Wolverine

Can you believe it? The Movie Guy is actually reviewing a movie on the day it was released. I have been looking forward to seeing Wolverine since I am a simple minded guy who enjoys the superhero genre. I was also excited about its release since this movie represents the ushering in of the big movies of the Summer. I'm hoping some of the big name movies coming out in the next few months are good.

Wolverine is a prequel to the original X Men movie. I found it interesting how they pieced the story together and gave more information to help better understand Wolverines history. I also enjoyed all the new mutant characters and seeing what kind of powers they had. Many of them had insignificant roles in the story. My least favorite was Gambit. His super power is throwing cards? Whatever. I know better than to start picking apart what seems fake since we are talking about a comic book movie.

I thought Liev Schreiber was a great villain as Victor Creed. And Stryker is as weaselly as ever in this movie. Most guys will like this for the special effects and non stop action. The body count was already in double digits before the opening credits even ended. Women may like it just for the fact that Hugh Jackman has taken a page from the Matthew McConaughey school of shirt removal. He spends a good deal of the movie shirtless or even in the buff.

Wolverine certainly has plenty of holes in the plot and and is no Schlinders List, but I enjoyed it more than the last X Men installment. I'm sure the purist comic book geeks will rip on the inconsistencies with the actual comic book, but I enjoyed it enough to give it 7.2 stars.

Snow White and The Huntsman

Snow White and The Huntsman and Mirror Mirror were this years biggest example of rival movies. I decided to watch the Huntsman version since it looked like it was the more action packed of the two. I thought this movie was actually better than many of the reviews indicate.

I probably would have been more excited about the casting if I were a teenage girl, but I was able to put my Twilight bias aside and was okay with Kristen Stewart as Snow White in this role even though she always seems so emotionless and detached. Chris Hemsworth was alright, but didn't do much for me in this particular role as the Huntsman. Charlize Theron stole the show as the evil queen who is obsessed with her beauty and power.

I loved the visuals, scenery, costumes, and effects in this movie. It had an authentic gothic feel to it and kind of reminded me of a Lord of the Rings in some ways, although it was not nearly as good as Peter Jackson's trilogies. This was a much darker movie than I anticipated. I really liked the dark forest and was surprised that some parts of the movie seemed more like they were more horror than fantasy genre.

I was really taken in for the first half of the film, but then it slowly stalled out prior to Snow White turning into a Joan of Arc figure before the final battle scene.  

I give Snow White and The Huntsman 7.1 stars. It's not your regular fairy tale and it's not for kids. You won't see Snow White in clean pretty dress singing to animals and doing housekeeping work for dwarfs in this version. Despite it's flaws, I still felt it was better than the critics said and think it is worth seeing for the  appealing visuals alone.

Iron Man 3

As my life gets more hectic, my movie reviews are starting to resemble Tweets. Maybe some day I will see a movie that I like enough to do a real review for. In the mean time, I'd like to give my take on Iron Man 3. I know it's dumb to pick apart a comic book movie as if it were a historical drama but there were some inconsistencies I had a hard time ignoring.

The Good

Iron Man is not that great of a guy. Tony Stark is arrogant and rude and I'd probably hate him if he were a real life person but it's nice to see a hero who is not perfect and has to deal with his problems.

Ben Kingsly was great and I was not expecting the twist at the end involving his character.

The airplane scene where Iron Man had to rescue the falling crew was pretty cool.

Pepper Potts takes more action than we have seen in the past.

This movie had a great cast so what was bothered me? Here are a list of things.

The Bad

1) A villain that not only cured his acne and posture with genetic engineering, but he is able to turn into the heat miser and breathe fire.

2) There were too many super human soldiers and they would heat up to 3,000 degrees yet it didn't burn their clothes? (I have the same problem with Hulk's clothes returning to normal after he morphs back)

3) The cute little sidekick boy. No thanks.

4) If the Iron Man suit can withstand explosions and aliens, how come a kid can effortlessly break the fingers off like a piece of peanut brittle?

5) Too many Iron Man machines. One or two are cool but a fleet of them is over doing it.

I'm not one of those comic book fans who freaks out when liberties are taken with the Marvel characters so I didn't care about a lot of stuff that may have bothered others. I still give Iron Man 7.2 stars and I felt it was entertaining.

The Most Typecast Actors

I've always felt sorry for actors who make it big with a particular movie and then find themselves remembered almost exclusively by that role. Mark Hammil will always be known as Luke Skywalker and Leonard Nemoy will always be Spock. Despite Alan Alda's acting accomplishments he is known as Hawkeye and Roger Moore as James Bond. I've made a list of actors who have been typecast and are known for a particular character or genre.

The Hero/Good Guy- Bruce Willis and Harrison Ford. It's rare to see them in the role of a bad guy. When I saw What Lies Beneath I couldn't handle Harrison Ford being the bad guy so my subconscious mind took over and he became William Shattner for the last part of the movie.

The Villains- Christopher Lee, Sean Bean, Malcolm McDowell, Alfred Molina, and Boris Carloff.

The Weird/Crazy Guy- Steve Buscemi, Christopher Walken, John Malkovich, Christopher Lloyd, Peter Lorre.

The Mafia Member- Al Pacino, Robert Dinero, Joe Pesci, and Vincent Pastore.

The Nerdy Scientist- Jeff Goldblum owns this category.

The Romantic Comedy Stars- Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore, Hugh Grant, and Sandra Bullock.

The Tough Action Movie Guy - Vin Diesel, Arnold Schwarzennegar, Steven Segal, Sylvester Stalone, The Rock, and Jason Stratham.

The Loud Mouth- Chris Tucker, Chris Rock, and Martin Lawrence.

The Tough Chick- Mila Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, and Sigourney Weaver.

The Spoof Movie Star-Leslie Nielsen.

The Crazy Comedian- Jim Carey, Will Ferrell, and Steve Carell. (Although I appreciate Tom Hanks, Robin Williams and Jim Carey taking on more serious roles or different genres during their careers.)

Many of those listed above have an extensive repertoire of films and have taken on a variety of genres, but they are still best known for their bread and butter roles they keep reappearing in. I applaud some of the more versatile actors who have shown their talent in a variety of roles like Russell Crowe, Will Smith, Johnny Depp, and Gary Oldman.

7th Year Anniversary Review Summary

It has now been 7 years since I started my movie blog. As is customary I am including a summary of the movies I have seen in the last year. I acknowledge that I don't have a full review for some of the movies listed below but what do you expect from someone who did half of these reviews in Haiku form? I have given you my final rating which is all that really matters.

Interstellar- 8.4
Mad Max: Fury Road- 8.3
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation- 8.2
The Martian- 8.1
The Man From U.N.C.L.E.- 7.8
Hobbit: The Battle of 5 Armies-7.7
Avengers: Age of Ultron-7.5
Cinderella- 7.4
McFarland USA- 7.3
Jurrasic World- 7.2
Furious 7- 7.1
Generation Iron-7.0
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials- 7.0
Mockingjay Part 1- 7.0
Hercules- 6.7
Taken 3- 6.4
San Andreas- 6.3
Jupiter Ascending- 6.2
Exodus: Gods and Kings-6.1

At a glance this can tell you if watching a particular movie or renting the video is worth your time or not. I am getting more selective so if a movie got horrible reviews I won't waste my time watching it which is why you don't see any reviews under 6.0. In the future you can expect more thorough reviews from me starting with Spectre which I am looking forward to seeing next week in the theatre. Yes I intentionally spelled it the British way in honor of James Bond.

My First Horror Film: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

When I was a about 3 or 4 years old, my parents took my family to see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in the theater. At a certain point in the movie my mom had to take me out to the lobby since I was freaking out and crying. I don’t remember that first viewing but I’ve seen the original movie many times since then and still think there are many things that are truly freakish about this film.

Before I attempt to explain why this movie is so scary, I have to admit there are many great one liners and funny scenes, but that can’t undo the damage inflicted upon every young viewer who sees it for the first time. I will now offer my analysis of why Willy Wonka is more of a horror movie than a fun kid’s adventure story.

Where to begin?

1) All four grandparents living in the same filthy bed and then Grandpa Joe being exposed as the lazy, faker, soda pop stealing old man he is. Charlie’s household plays on people’s fears of filthiness and poverty.

2) Scary Slugworth constantly showing up out of the shadows and whispering in kid’s ears and finally confronting Charlie when he’s alone in the dark tunnel.

3) Oompa Loompas were an obvious problem. I was not prepared for the orange skin, white eyebrows, and green hair. These musical midget’s songs, lame dance moves, and their unexpected large subtitles displayed on the movie screen were very unsettling.

4) The naughty kids being eliminated one by one. Take your pick…

*Augustus Gloop falling in the chocolate river kills two birds with one stone by featuring drowning and claustrophobia as he is sucked up the tube.

*Violet turning into a blueberry and changing color while expanding then being taken out by Oompa Loompas to have the juice squeezed out of her.

*Mike the cowboy being turned into billions of pieces and shrunk.

*Verruca sitting in the giant goose cages and going down the rotten egg hatch.

Watching the Oompa Loompas accompany the parents to retrieve what was left of their kids each time was sad. Even though it is explained that the spoiled kids did not actually die in these incidents, the disposal methods used were still traumatic, but it’s Wonka’s sarcastic, could care less attitude that is even more disturbing.

5) The scene with the Wonkatania boat featuring close ups of Wonka’s face, the psychedelic colors, and flashes of disturbing images. He begins the ride by singing an eerie song, then starts speaking gibberish, and then goes full blown crazy and ends up screaming at the top of his lungs. What the heck?

6) Gene Wilder’s hair is frightening throughout the entire movie, but the scene towards the end in his office when he takes off his hat and his quasi afro actually falls over like a demolished smoke stack still gives me chills to this day.

7) When Willy Wonka loses it and unloads his anger on Charlie and his grandpa and yells “You get nothing! You lose. Good day sir.” Even though he was testing him it is still pretty traumatic.

8) The glass wonkavator breaking through the roof and eerily hoovering over an odd European town backdrop just didn’t feel right either. It was intended to be a happy magical ending but it made me even more anxious.

Maybe you think I am way too sensitive and fragile when it comes to this movie, but the spirit and feel to the entire movie is creepy and unsettling. There are some things about it that I just can’t put my finger on. It’s probably a combination of the story line, props, costumes, and the fact it was made in the early 70’s. Anyway, I don’t know why more people have not been traumatized by this movie. Despite my troubled relationship with this movie, I give it 7.2 stars.