Wednesday, October 30, 2013

5th Year of Movie Summaries

This week I am celebrating the 5 year anniversary of this blog and have to admit that my reviews have gotten crappier with time, but as a public service I'd like to give a summary of the movies I saw over the last 12 months. The higher the ranking, the more I enjoyed the movie. You may disagree with me on some of these, but that's alright. Not everyone can have superior taste.

Gravity 8.2
The Hobbit 8.1
Jack Reacher 8.1
Star Trek Into the Darkness 8.0
World War Z 7.9
The Help 7.9
Oblivion 7.8
Man of Steel 7.7
Life of Pi 7.7
Crazy Stupid Love 7.7
The Impossible 7.5
Warm Bodies 7.5
Undefeated 7.5
The Wolverine 7.4
Snitch 7.4
Pacific Rim 7.2
Bernie 7.2
Catfish 7.2
Red 2 7.0
Midnight in Paris 7.0
The Lone Ranger 6.9
Samsara 6.9
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen 6.8
Here Comes the Boom 6.6
Jack the Giant Slayer 6.6
Oz the Great and Powerful 6.4
Bully 6.3
Saints and Soldiers: Airborne Creed 6.2
One for the Money 5.8

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Seven Short Movie Summaries

What the Crap?
Samsara- I saw the trailer for Samsara and it looked like a visual feast so I ordered it on Netflix. I was not prepared for how artsy it was. It was kind of slow at first but still had some cool visuals. About 20 minutes into it, my wife came in the room during a weird scene where a guy starts packing mud on his face. He then begins to claw and cut away at it while there is horror music in the background. This went on way too long and I felt really awkward trying to explain what I was watching. I ended up turning it off since my wife was giving me a look like I was watching some kind of Satanic ritual and for all I know I could have been. Anyway I was looking forward to a visual feast but it was short lived. I give it 6.9 stars.

Oz The Great and Powerful- I'm not a big fan of James Franco or really anyone else in the cast so I wasn't expecting much from this movie. How is that for a negative attitude? At least I'm honest. This movie is geared to a younger audience and my kids really enjoyed it. It is a prequel to the Wizard of Oz and I'll admit there were a few funny moments but I couldn't get over Zach Braff from Scrubs voicing a CG monkey. I really don't have much else to say about this. I give it 6.4 stars.

Jack the Giant Slayer- This movie was a little better than I expected. It is a story about Jack and the bean stock and tells how giants attacked the kingdom by climbing down the bean stalk. Stanley Tucci was the bad guy as usual. It was alright but I can't really even member how it ended. I'm pretty sure they lived happily ever after. I give it 6.6 stars.

The Lone Ranger- This movie had a ton of potential and I wanted to like it more than I did. There are many over the top stunts and cool effects but it still doesn't make up for it's shortcomings. It's kind of like Pirates of the Caribbean in the Desert. I gave it 6.9 stars.

Red 2- This movie was alright but I was wondering if there was really a need for a sequel. The cast was impressive and I like all of the actors but it was a little uneventful and still think I liked the first one more. It came off kind of empty. I give it 7.0 generous stars.

Pacific Rim- This movie was a mix between Transformers, Godzilla, and Rockem Sockem Robots. It is about aliens who attack earth by coming through a portal at the bottom of the ocean. In an attempt to combat these destructive monsters, the government builds giant robots that are operated by two pilots. It's even cooler than watching people ride tandem bikes. There was some cool stuff in this movie and I was impressed with how big the monsters and robots were. I give it 7.2 stars.

Gravity- Finally a movie the rocked! I was mesmerized by the special effects in this movie. It is just a two person show but is not boring like My Dinner With Andre. Gravity is a cool sci fi movie with plenty of suspense. There are several recurring themes of rebirth and renewal that occur as a result of the adversity Bullock goes through during the film. I really liked it. I give it 8.2 stars.

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