Friday, December 30, 2011


Columbiana is one of those movies that didn't get very good reviews, buy I still wanted to see it anyway. Maybe it was because it had Luc Beeson's name attached to it. Maybe it was because Zoe Saldana made such an impression on me as Uhura in Star Trek that I was willing to overlook the low rating. The movie started well and had promise, but I felt it failed to deliver.

Columbiana is about a young girl who's parents are killed by a drug lord. She escapes to the United States, grows up, and as as adult, she seeks revenge against him. I can feel empathy for a young girl who was subjected to seeing her family killed, but her parents were criminals and the relatives she later moved in with were murderers so it's hard to side with someone who has basically grown up to become a vigilante serial killer. I guess it helps if they are pretty.

I liked the idea behind this movie, but it just didn't work. I know there are many women who know how to handle themselves and could kick my trash, but I still have a hard time buying the fact that a 115 pound girl can beat up grown men. (yes, I'm also talking to you Salt and Hannah). It would have been easier to accept if Saldana had some muscle on her, but she is just a skeleton in this movie.

I felt a couple scenes were particularly ridiculous. One involved her uncle pulling out a gun and shooting a car and causing it to crash near a crowd of people. It was just an object lesson to teach her about different types of crime. They simply strolled away after with no questions asked, but as a result, she decided to stay in school so it must have been worth it.

The other incident was when a photo of half of her sleeping face made it to the police station's computer data base. Their computer was immediately able to match her ear and nose and come up with a 100% match and help them find her. The way the computer showed this process was just laughable.

I'm sure there are many younger guys who will enjoy this movie since it features a hot chick shooting guns and stuff blowing up, but I didn't have a very good time watching this movie. The main character is an unhappy, angry woman who is consumed with getting revenge. I only give Columbiana  5.6 stars which is kind of sad because I wanted to like it more.

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